I have written about pet peeves before. Unfortunately, I have already named this post and can’t be bothered to move the cursor back up to the title bar. Also, no one will notice. Besides, my pet peeves have changed since then.
Yes, I have new pet peeves. Like people who use the word “woke”. Or those who get their news from Tik Tok. People who stop at the end of an escalator (you’d be surprised). And when someone texts you and they start with just your name. Like, just give me the whole message, jesus christ. Am I supposed to be in suspense? Are they waiting for an invitation to text more? Soooooooo annoying.
As some of you may know, I am also a fan of Korean YouTube videos, particularly the ones that have jazzy, relaxing music, beautiful lighting, and lots of flowers in an airy, Scandinavian-like space. Usually they seem to make really delicious food, except for sandwiches, which they do not seem to understand. I mean, the sandwiches are ludicrously, preposterously high, and filled with things like peeled grapes. How on earth does one unhinge one’s jaw far enough to shove one of these clementine-and-whipped-cream sandwiches in, unless one is an anaconda?
But that’s not my pet peeve about these videos. My pet peeve is that the chicken, when they roast it, is lying on its breast, like someone has made fun of it and it died right there in the oven from shame. Then everyone proceeds to pick at the chicken, STILL BREAST DOWN, like there isn’t a huge spine, etc that is in their way. Is this normal in Korea?! Please serve your chicken breast up, like God obviously intended!
Thankfully, I live in Thailand, where we don’t have to worry about serving our chickens breast up or down, because we grill them. And if you are really, really serious about your chicken, you make it like they do in Isan, stuck in aromatic wood of some kind and cooked slowly-but-surely over a fire coaxed by charcoal.
There are three major chicken grilling towns (“towns” is being generous), where people converge for delicious chicken (and all the other stuff that goes with it, like sticky rice, jaew, and som tum). One of these is Khao Suan Kwang (Deer Park Mountain), located almost exactly halfway between Udon Thani and Khon Kaen. Here, the chickens are very clearly free-range and local (gai baan), even — it must be said, in the eyes of someone who grew up on American chicken — scrawny. But people love this chicken for its pure chicken flavor, perfect grilling, and beautiful smoky aroma, partly imparted by the bamboo with which these chickens are cooked.
It’s a whole street, lined entirely with chicken vendors, and even friends will refuse to name a particular vendor to patronize, simply saying “go anywhere, it will be good”. You and I know that this probably isn’t true, but this might also be due to the probability that they have completely forgotten which vendor they stopped at, like I did. I can only say that we chose the vendor patronized by local government officials in uniform, because of course we did.
Another, admittedly far less well known, street that I recently visited is called Nong Song Hong (Two-Roomed Pond), between Udon Thani and Nong Khai and praised for its meatier, fattier chickens. I am here to say that this is very true. Cooked similarly to its brethren at Khao Suan Kwang, the chickens boast crackling skin but juicy flesh, and is truly the stuff of my dreams. Even better, they make great som tum.
And even even better, I can name the place where we went, because it was very recent and my memory is not that bad yet. It was Mae Nong, easily the biggest place on the street (with an air-conditioned room), and yes, once again patronized by some government officials in uniform.
There is a third place that is famous for its grilled chicken, and that is Wichianburi, in Petchabun province on the border between Isan and the North. Alas, I have yet to go, but obviously it’s going to happen. I have heard that this grilled chicken mecca places a lot of importance on its sauces, which is extremely intriguing to me. Next stop: home to the King Naresuan the Great shrine.
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